In the book "The Woman Destroyed" Simone de Beauvoir tells us a story of three women.
The first story is "The Age of Discretion" and I would love to meet the main character and talk to her for hours, not because I want to be like her (especially I don't want to be a mother like her), but because she is so full of herself and at the same time she is full of the people she loves. I think she is a very complex character and I do like such women.
I can's say what's the main topic of the story, cause it's about different and very important things.
you just observe how one "sees" the reality and what's really going on.
you have to observe the married couple in their sixties, how they deal with boredom, with the fact that they are getting old and even with each other:
"How many times had we sat there opposite one another at that little table with piping hot, very strong cups of tea in front of us? And we should do so again tomorrow, and in a year’s time, and in ten years’ time.... That moment possessed the sweet gentleness of a memory and the gaiety of a promise. Were we thirty, or were we sixty?"
In the beginning of the story they have different attitude towards their age (I had always refused to consider life as Fitzgerald’s “process of dilapidation.”), Man is more depressed from this fact while woman is not giving up so easily:
"Happily—unlike André, who no longer sees anyone—I have made friends with some of my pupils and younger colleagues: I like them better than women of my own age. Their curiosity spurs mine into life: they draw me into their future, on the far side of my own grave."
but only in the beginning, slowly the dread of aging becomes quite a familiar feeling for her too:
"That very close, almost affectionate relationship I once had with my clothes has vanished"
"The heartbreaking side of growing old is not in the things around one but in oneself.”
"Useless. The Greeks called their old people hornets. “Useless hornet,” Hecuba called herself in The Trojan Women. That was my case. I was shattered. I wondered how people managed to go on living when there was nothing to be hoped from within."
“Youth and what the Italians so prettily call stamina. The vigor, the fire, that enables you to love and create. When you’ve lost that, you’ve lost everything.”
But for her the end of youth is not as frightening as the end of precious relationships:
"It is the fate common to all mothers; but who has ever found comfort in saying that hers is the common fate?- it's not easy to let your son go and be himself, is it?"
"That was not what I brought him up for.”
She can't except that her son is not going the way she have imagined. she feels betrayed, jealous, she feels abandoned and the son is also in the war, he doesn't want to give up on his plans or on his family, but:
“Sometimes you say the cruelest things. For my part I have never wondered whether I respected you or not. You could do bloody fool things as much as ever you liked and I shouldn’t love you any the less. You think love has to be deserved. Oh, yes, you do: and I’ve tried hard enough not to be undeserving. Everything I ever wanted to be—a pilot, a racing driver, a reporter: action, adventure—they were all mere whims according to you: I sacrificed them all to please you. The first time I don’t give way, you break with me.” I cut in. “You’re trying to wear me down. Your behavior disgusts me: that is why I don’t want to see you anymore.” “It disgusts you because it goes against your plans. But after all, I’m not going to obey you all my life long. You’re too tyrannical. Fundamentally you have no heart, only a love of power.” His voice was full of rage and tears. “All right! Good-bye. Despise me as much as you bloody well like—I shall get along without you very well."
I do think that we all have our perspectives about relationships, family, dreams, freedom.. and when I "listen" to someone's "truth" I understand; sometimes relationships are like war for power, but we shouldn't forget that "It is so tiring to hate someone you love."
The Monologue
The monologue is her form of revenge.
FLAUBERT
Revenge?! I don't think so.. It's hysterical monologue of a woman who dreams about revenge.
She is quite an Egocentric person, who is afraid of loneliness, pities herself and thinks that everyone is unfair towards her.
She is so full of herself (her traumas, her fears, her pain..) that there is not a space of other people, there is no space even for her daughter.
"I was clean straight uncompromising. No cheating: I’ve had that in my bones since I was a child. I can see myself now a quaint little brat in a ragged dress Mama looked after me so badly and the kind lady simpering “And so we love our little brother do we?” And I answered calmly “I hate him.” The icy chill: Mama’s look."
Her children is a project for her: "I should have made a lovely person of Sylvie" and the main reason why she wants to be the good mother is her trauma ("My mother: after all a mother is a mother I never did her any harm she was the one who mucked up my childhood she insulted me she presumed to tell me...." ) and the desire to prove others that she is better ("I’ll make a splendid child of Francis they’ll see what kind of a mother I am.")
As we see she looks to herself with other people's eyes, as if her own eyes has no use:
"But there is this noise outside. And inside my head they are giving that dirty laugh and saying, “She’s all alone.”
Yes, other people's opinion is the most important thing, but at the same time she is a very egocentric person. To be honest, I've always assumed that for people who had an egocentric personality other people's opinions didn't matter, I guess it matters when others are not able "to see their perfection". The main character makes everything about herself, even her daughter's death is something which only happened to her (she doesn't think at all about the reason of her daughter's suicide) : "Sylvie Sylvie why have you done this to me?" and the main concern she as a grieving mother has is also quite selfish: "Sylvie died without understanding me I’ll never get over it."
She is not questioning in any way, she is perfect, while others ..“I was the best of mothers. You would have thanked me later on.”
Also let's don't forget that throughout her life she pities herself : "the devil himself would have been sorry for me."
To sum it up, it's a monologue of a woman who is blinded by her own emotions, fears and desires.
The Woman Destroyed
For me the last story was the most emotional one, cause it is a story about a woman who let others to destroy her.
She was the one who loved without security: “If you were to deceive me I should have no need to kill myself. I should die of grief”; she believed that love could last forever, so when she was betrayed she began questioning her whole personality: was she smart enough?! was she sexy enough? was she enough at all? she lost her own image: “Collaborate,” says Dr. Marquet. All right. I am quite willing to try to find myself again. I stand in front of the mirror: how ugly I am! How unlovely my body is!" She is whole life was this love (she didn't had a job, cause this love was everything, was enough) and that's why she collapsed: "I was safe, because he loved me. If he does not love me anymore..."
Also the hardest act for her to do is to give up on fighting for this love ( yeah, it is one of the hardest thing to do) and on hope. She is not trying to survive (it's really hard to survive when you see yourself as a marshland).
But there is no other way, in the room of the closed doors we should find that one which will open slowly and see what is behind that door, we should find ourselves again and even though we are very afraid, we should leave this room and step into future.
you can read this book here:
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